Monday, October 11, 2010

closeted genius

Hey, hey, hey! What up fools?! Cut to the chase? Will do.
Today I want to make a confession and I guess in some way a vow. The confession is I have always known that I am great. I have not always however worked hard to prove it as well as I could have.
Call it being intellectually lazy. Call it fear. Call it a cop out if you have to but understand I will find you...I kid, I kid. Dissolve into a scene from junior high.
The time when I could have very easily landed on my foot after jump kicking the bubble in the chain linked fence that surrounded the building. I forget who I was actually going to kick, whoever stood on the other side of that bubble but midway through I either changed my mind in my intent to maim this kid or realized how funny it would be to fall...so I fell. Genius! I went for the laugh instead of the violence. Wow. Absolute genius. I was always like that I guess. There was a time when, as a kid I would dance out a skit of the song "Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen (I think, I told you I'm not good with that stuff). I had a spin move at the end of which I would jump into the air and land on my poor knees! Brilliant!
When I was a baby I came in second in a beauty contest...to a girl! Gorgeous! So it stands to reason that my soon to be born son will have many of these genius and star quality attributes.
And my vow is to make sure he does not take it for granted like I have and yes...still do sometime.
How do I keep my kid from becoming like the rest of these other little future Cee students. Besides the fact that he's already S.A.B. Gee. Which I'm guessing you're trying to figure means what exactly. Well let me tell you, it stands for Super Advanced Baby Genius. Yeah that's right.
Now getting back on track. How do I keep my kid from being like...well, me.
As brilliant and genius as I actually am I have not quite yet reached my potential...quite? Who am I kidding? I'm not even close.
But my son has a chance to reach his full potential. Starting with a brand new clean slate. He has no experience besides swimming and eating...and he ain't really eating on his own power and swimming? He's more floating than backstroking...
so nada.
He can still indeed become the super advanced genius that I know he is.
My time is all but over. Whatever talent I may have had has probably long since faded, withered and blown out the closing window of opportunity.
What can I show him about life that will be the key to making his destiny a reality? What lessons have I learned, that I can relay to him that will be the difference? Will he love me as much as I love him?
My son. Those words mean more to me than any two words have ever meant to anyone anywhere at any time? My son. I vow to protect him with all my power and to shield him from ignorance. I will alert him of it's existence but definitely steer him in the other direction. And I confess my fear that my past transgressions will be revisited by him in his age of discovery.
Many mistakes were made in the making of this man and yes I do indeed have some regrets. I just hope that he can be respected and that he most importantly respects himself, that he is fearless and never believes that he can't. Because he can.
I vow to be there for him when he needs me and when he doesn't I'll just hang out on the sidelines just in case. There are so many things I want to say to him to let him know about the world. So for the rest of our lives I will.
He will let his genius manifest itself and I will help him cultivate and refine that genius. Father and son exposing genius to the world. No longer closeted and never was.

"...new is old...no I'm not no psycho."

If you know any part of that quote then perhaps you are very, very cool or just in my generation of rap fans. But this one ain't really for you. It is but it isn't. This one is really more for your insanely obnoxious kids. Your less than talented and spoiled princesses. The kids that you never gave anything to but your genes and a few hundred thousand dollars perhaps even millions. The kid that you left on the steps of a neighbor's house. The kid that you traded for some crack. The kid that you threw away or at least left on the top of a pile of garbage. The kids that none of you ever bothered to tell to shut up "when grown folks is talking." The same kid that today kills four people in a drunk driving accident, which is an oxymoron when you think about it because if you get behind the wheel of a car while you are drunk then you have accepted the consequences, before hand. So it is no accident! It is a catastrophe. It means that yet another person made a selfish decision to endanger the lives of his/her fellow citizens of earth. Just because that murderer happens to be an officer shouldn't matter either and if it did then it should mean the punishment is more severe. To go from serve and protect to hurt, maim and murder is the ultimate betrayal.

When a kid in this day and age decides to let his lack of guidance become his/her compass by which they make all decisions then we have a serious problem. When a kid lets his ass be coonstantly exposed from atop his pants (yes I know I spelled con-stant-ly wrong...or did I?) as he waddles down the street because his pants are either tightly belted around his thighs or he is constantly pulling them up as he walks...uh, waddles down the sidewalk. Does this kid not know what this means? Does he understand the origins of this "fashion statement", this, "uniform of the hood" a symbol of, so hood it don't get no hood'er actually means?
Does he know that he is in fact advertising to be some grown man's prison bitch?
Somehow I don't think they understand the true significance of it all, yet when you consider the neighborhoods these particular kids come from, you would think they did know...hey perhaps I have stumbled onto something...hmmm...I will have to pursue that thought at another time...wait, no, I wanna go with this new thought for a moment...what if this were really some sort of code among young black boys and older seasoned ex-cons. What if this is in fact how they connect.  Whoa. Okay, back to topic.
How do we restore your dignity. How do we get you all back on the road to becoming good human beings?
I realize that there are not many examples of what a good human being is but maybe use your own idea and go by that. What sort of responsibility do you want us to accept and I'm sure we will take it on as you wish. Just what are we supposed to do to restore hope for the future, hope in you because you are the future. As it stands now I am quickly succumbing to the malaise of the daft. That is the beginning stage of full on fear and ignorance. What's even more dire is the new notion that shock value equals entertainment.
Ignorance is not bliss. And money is not the answer to all that ails you, especially not mentally and spiritually.
There is a way to better yourself even if you don't think you need bettering...and trust me you do.


Spoiled, rich and entitled doesn't give you everything either. Actually there is more responsibility with all that money that you didn't earn. Driving fast cars that you borrow from your dad doesn't make you cool. In fact you're just a rich nerd. Trying to be cool by pretending that you're one of the other kids from the wrong side of the tracks...I don't know which of you is stupider. Sorry I didn't mean that.
Wait hold on a sec, I just had another idea for a story...sexual predator comes home after a long bid, he probably took his many times while inside. He sees all this tight butted young black tail running around Harlem and begins getting the itch in just a few short weeks. So when he can't take it anymore he gets in his car and drives around the hood, cruising if you will, finds his first victim, snatches him and brutally rapes him. This continues for weeks and then months. Then suddenly the rapes stop. In Harlem. They soon start happening in The Bronx. Same pattern. Then the rapes stop. Until they start happening in Brooklyn. How long before the young men stop wearing their pants like that?
Sorry I had to go there but it was a thought that kept creeping up in the back of my head. It fleshed itself out if you will. Back to you spoiled selfish, scared punk, obnoxious brat rich kid. Yeah they really do exist. They aren't just a reality show. A few of you just thought that it would actually make a good one though, maybe on E! and that is exactly yih8uuu.

keep spreadin that love!

Friday, August 6, 2010

I hope it ain't too late.

So Monday (8/2) was my birthday. It was alright. My birthday doesn't have nearly the bang that it used to have, in terms of significance for me. I used to want to party til the sun came up and I would party for days in celebration of the one day that I could call my day. Over the last few years however my attitude has changed drastically, partly because I'm married now and who wants to party with their wife? I kid, I kid...uh not really. Also as I get older and I listen to the talking heads on the idiot box I become more and more depressed. Example one, the jerk-offs who oppose a mosque being built near the hole that used to be the WTC, First of all the site is a few blocks away from the debacle that they still haven't built. Secondly, (actually first of all I just numbered it wrong) these folks have been there for almost thirty years!! Well before these ass-holes packed up their cars and moved to NYC and started to make it suck for everybody. Apparently the argument is that it is a divisive issue and would further open wounds suffered from the tragedy of 9/11.
To that, I would say, why aren't those people angry at the city, state and the Bush White House for not having something built in place of the Twin Towers already?

Which is more of an insult to the nation? The fact that admittedly welcomed neighbors, who have been there longer than some of the residents want to add onto their mosque?
To that I can only say that as a witness to what happened that day I do not take anyone's pain lightly, I embraced total strangers that day and felt their pain, fear and anxiety. However those that oppose this mosque being built, are the ones causing the divisiveness and rubbing the salt in the wounds by prying into an issue that truly only concerns the residents in the area and NY'ers.
Now I don't know when Mrs. Moose killa jumped on this issue but since when did she give a flying fuck about us liberal media lovin' elitists? It seems to me that she, like many other pundits who love to hear themselves speak will use any issue at all to throw shit at the fan and watch it fly and hit everybody.
She is very chimp like in her ability to mimic and parrot and entertain with out really knowing people. I have a new theory by the way about why Alaska and her part of it specifically had the highest concentration of meth labs in the country...she was getting a cut!!! How else do you explain where the money comes from? Not to mention her sick human-less politics. I'm so tired..and scared. Big business backs all these jackwads. They are "THEM" and believe me, it is, us versus "THEM". Those of us who work for a living versus those of "THEM" who steal for a living because they're stealing from us!!!
Well dammit, get your hand out of my pocket!!!

The reason the priorities of The Supreme Court, The Senate, Congress and the Mayor are skewed to benefit big business and not the workers is because THEY ARE big business!!! But you twinkie heads voted Bloomberg into office...twice...and then you let him run for a third term...which he fucking opposed!! Sorry...sorry...I just get a little riled up at what appears to be a less than a give a shit attitude we all have these days. I guess I can only hope that it ain't too late, that perhaps my little boy grows into manhood during the greatest time in humanity. The time when we achieved a great evolution of the mind and spirit and ridiculed *"the time of The Daft" I have even written it in the past tense because I have so much faith and trust in you all that it will happen..it will happen so assuredly that it has already happened....
pffft!!!! Yeah right! My son will probably grow into manhood during more idiocy, more derision, more hypocrisy and ignolerance..(which I just made up and is a combo of the words ignorance and intolerance) and the fact that you probably think I just made up a cool new Ebonics word is exactly yih8uuu...

Peace, keep spreadin' that love
EveryMan

* From the book Best Laid Plans 
available at Amazon.com, DTP (digital text platform) also available at createspace.com/3353202 coming soon to Google books!!!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

So disappointed in you.

(Written on June 16th)
Got a check today for a gig that I did on the 26th of May. I had to go get the check from the office of the catering company that I did the gig for. The fact that I had to wait this long to get it isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is the fact that they lied to me about the check "being in the mail", when clearly someone either forgot to drop it in the mailbox or just didn't want to drop it in the mailbox. But they could have said that to me and just been honest. Why is it that when I spoke to these lying b!^(#@$ they told me on Thursday that I should wait another day and that the check should arrive by then. When Saturday came and went I couldn't wait to scream on somebody at the office but I resisted...besides, there was nobody at the office also for the sake of peace in my own household, my wife and I are expecting so the less stress the better.
Monday was a busy day for me, I had to teach a barista basics class and then there was the committee meeting so there was enough to keep my mind off strangling one of these beyatches, any one of them because I still don't know who it was that actually lied to me on the phone. Tuesday was also busy, the meeting with the councilwoman was the topper of a busy day and it went well, so thoughts of bursting into the catering company office and breaking my foot off in an ass, at the ankle dissolved. Which brings us to today. Again a surprisingly busy day for a n!&&@ with no job but busy indeed and I am doing good work, so perhaps my dream of becoming a misanthropic philanthropist are coming to fruition...aah, they are. Excuse me, I went away for a second. Allow me to get back on track by taking a small detour, the "scenic route" if you will. Here we go.
While I rode the train on my way uptown I took the 2 to the shuttle then the shuttle to the 6.
I noticed a man walking rather quickly, I couldn't help but notice him because he practically knocked me down, I, as usual, stage whispered the word "Jackass" and that made me think of how much I am beginning to strongly dislike my hometown. What made it worse was seeing this industrial sized douche get his perv on...clearing my throat...moving on, I began my ascent into the city streets, with a revelation. I couldn't say a word to these women about how absolutely ticked off I was at the fact that I had to come into the office to get this check. This check that I was told was going to be mailed last Wednesday afternoon. A check that should have been mailed on the 28th of May!!! I could not say a word because if I began to do that, I feared that everything that had ticked me off during this week would come out, that I would say things that I would regret and possibly end up in silver bracelets...so imagine how hard it was for me to not explode when I saw that someone had removed the stamp?!!!!
I left the office as soon as I saw the traces of the stamp...I left immediately, thankfully the elevator was still on the floor because I was close, so very close to going back inside the office..what could have happened...thankfully we'll never know.
Why does it have to come to this? Why can't businesses treat the employees with respect? How can a man's life be in the hands of people who so obviously don't care how their decisions affect others. How come we haven't learned this yet? The concept of spreading good vibes. Not just to yourself or the people that you care about but to all of us. Why be a douche bag, why be agnorant, which a combination of arrogant and ignorant. Don't take pride in being wrong. Don't be proud to be a f@%ing oblivious to others around you moron. It's not right. And it's not American either. You might think it is but it ain't. So what if we have the highest rate of obesity in the world. Not to mention education...absolutely do not mention education, seriously don't mention education. No child left behind...nah, let's just pass them. Never mind.
In the book I talk about "the spiritual evolution of humanity" because there seems to be some kind of devolution taking place and I'm not feeling it at all.
People suck. More and more.
It's not just government, as much as it is to blame, it is not the totality of the problem...we are...wait...you are. Is it me or are there more out of towners moving here in droves? Newby, hipster college kids and princesses. The type to tell you how to live in New York even though you're born and raised here and they just moved here from Connecticut. The type to walk with their heads down, texting, while walking down the street against the flow of pedestrian traffic, then get an attitude when you yell "Boo!" What? We're supposed to move out of your way all the time? No. Not gonna happen. You will learn. Oh you gon' learn.
I should not have to deal with this, none of us should have to deal with this but we do. Well I'm not going to take it anymore. Speaking my mind is just the first step. Soon I will drop the seed of common sense and it will grow and you will soon see the light and the err of your ways. Dumb stuff will never go unchecked and unremedied. Because if we continue to let companies and talentless, trustafarian, spoiled mindless, mindless pricks and princesses treat us like shite, like we don't even exist other than to move out of the way, then it will continue with unlimited degradation. Can we stand that?
Some of you might disagree which is absolutely your prerogative, you have every right to your opinion as do I and since I'm the one writing then go f%$#---ondle your self. Look I am by far no good Samaritan but this idea that has prevailed for quite sometime that we should just mind our business and look the other way has got to stop. I am not suggesting that we become a bunch of snitches and tattle tells (is that even the right expression?) but when one of us is doing something really annoying and or negatively dumb and harmful shit to someone else and or that persons psyche, I feel we have the right to speak on that...immediately. And from now on I am...I WILL. The thing is and I know this is true, some one will inevitably look at me as if I am the douche for mentioning their asshead behavior. Am I alone here? It definitely feels like I am. And the fact that the rest of you pretend not to notice makes me intensely ill and hurt inside, perhaps it is a reverse psychological defense mechanism but this is yih8uuu.

keep spreadin that love
Everyman

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Haves & The Have Nots

Well I wasn't able to write three blogs last month so I officially suck. Not that any of you give a marsupials ass! Who is reading this thing anyway? I think there is someone and he's probably only reading it out of politeness because he knows me personally. Thanks dad.

So today I want to discuss an issue that we are facing here in NYC but ultimately it's a national issue and that is the fact that the divide between rich and poor is growing at an alarming rate. The fact is here in my home state of NY the working class is actually a check away from being the working poor and the Mayor doesn't really give a fuch because I guess in his mind they should just be happy to be working. The Governor can't really do shit about it either because well he has lost the respect from many of the other folks in government here in NY. His term has been plagued by the media's need to put any and all his shortcomings on blast as well as the fact that his detractors look up his ass with a magnifying glass for any inkling of malfeasance and just fight him on practically every turn.
Our educational system basically is in shambles because most of the children in the city that go to public school are children of color and we all know that children of color are garbage. I mean a playground with a fake jail cell!!! Message! Children of color and children of working class families that have to share the school with them are left with the short end of the stick because no one cares about what happens to them, so the money that should go into inner city schools to close the educational gap gets cut, or does it get spent in other areas of the city...hmmm? I don't know but it wouldn't surprise me to know if it did. It would be just another case of the rich stealing from the poor and exploiting the hard work they do just to stay afloat here in one of the world's most expensive cities.
Rents are too damned high, to steal a phrase from Jimmy McMillan who is running for Governor from the Rent is 2 Damn High Party and seem yet another way to force poorer NYers out of NY.
The budget is more than legally late and solutions are to lay hard working city and state worker off and to cut funding for social programs for the elderly and children, all lower income of course because who cares about these folks anyway, right? Cuts that are deep and cruel.
If perhaps taxes on folks making more than half a million dollars a year were raised 1% the cuts could be avoided...but the Mayor doesn't want to do that. Why? Why would anyone who makes half a million dollars a year groan about paying five grand more a year in taxes? Shiiiit, if I made half a milly a year...well first of all my dreams of being a misanthropic philanthropist would be well under way and I'd fund programs to mentor young kids to be just like me because God knows we could use more folks like me around here. I am reminded of a sticker I saw recently that read: "I loved New York before you moved here and made it suck." But alas I go off on the tangent...like I so often do...annnyhoooo. And by the way what ever happened to the executives at Goldman Sachs? How come nobody is in jail behind that shit? The list goes on and on, of companies that continually screw us over and never feel any reprisals from either the public because we're ignorant of the transgressions or just plain ignorant...blissfully so..pridefully so, or from government because they're usually in cahoots.

The divide is growing between us. And this is becoming much more than a racial issue, though it's roots are grounded in the systemic racism that lies at the core of this country. I liken it to the idea that if you build a skyscraper with faulty beams then likely it will fall under the weight of itself. I could also liken it to the big tit blond with the eating disorder but I won't, I like the building analogy much better.
It appears to me that we are headed for a steep decline if something is not done to build bridges to close that gap. Although we have been overworked into submission and have had our will beaten down due to oppression and oppressive policies there may come a time when the people, both black and white, may join hands and rise up together to fight against the bourgeois much like the French Revolution, which gave us French toast, French fries, French kissing and the expression "Let them eat cake" which is very loosely translated for America.
America is a very different place than what the "founding fathers" had intended, I mean besides the whole slavery thing with blacks being "3/5 of a human" we are not nearly a "more perfect union" and the way things are going we won't be getting there anytime soon.

Yes I know you're tired of me talking about slavery but that is your bliss talking. I know you would say to me "get over it" like an actress once told me while I made a joke about my people being persecuted. I should have said "Really? Get over it? Like Jewish people got over the Holocaust?"
Offensive isn't it?
If I recollect correctly didn't Jewish folks get some money for that? I don't remember however a government promise to give them anything though and if any of this sounds bitter well, as good as my life is, it could be 400 hundred times better!! I try to define my anger in terms of injustices that continue to happen to people of color like, all the "strange fruit" that hung from trees in the south for decades after slavery ended, like LAPD, NYPD, NJPD and any other PD in America. While all of you who would tell me to "get over it" I wonder if you would say that outside of your privilege and entitlement, would you be able to say that after a year in mine or my brother's skin and while the powers that be, the status quo, the richest of the world continue to separate us widening the gaps that exist, your bliss grows....this is YIh8uuu.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Slick, oil. Slick.

First of all I know what you're thinking...two days in a row? He wrote a joint two days in a row? The end of the world is nigh!!! Repent all ye sinners!!! Hell hath frozen over.
Naaah it ain't that serious, I just wanted to write today, is that so wrong. Smart asses!

So I will get write to it (didja see what I did there?) There is a huge leak in the Gulf and it's not leaking water, it's leaking oil. Thousands of gallons of oil by the minute. I'm sure you've seen the pictures and heard officials from the company responsible talking about how sorry they are etc. Here's the thing though, all that isn't stopping the oil from coming out and apparently there isn't anything that seems to be helping and they've tried many things. What they didn't try was not drilling without a plan!!! How come when we were growing up we were always told to be prepared for the consequences...how about just being prepared! Remember that? I certainly do. How about just plain old common sense? Oh I forgot common sense is an endangered species in the world and it's dying at an alarming rate.
Case in point, all the folks who were trying to turn this disaster into a political issue. Using this as a way to question the president's actions, rather than place the blame where it actually lays. The blame should be placed on the culture of greed that has grown in this country over the last two decades, the culture of decadence and gluttony that has been so pervasive even encouraged. As a nation we've shown the rest of the world how to consume more, take more than our fair share and not give in equal abundance. And unfortunately many nations have followed the model and look what has happened. The entire world was on the brink of insolvency (that means broke, the whole world is broke) I won't even begin to discuss why this is the case but let's just say that the world banks are ripping governments off by charging ridiculous interest on every single dollar that is made.
So now we face the biggest ecological disaster the planet has faced since we came crawling out of the mud, since the dinosaurs became extinct and became the oil that we are so addicted to in the first place...irony? Nation of millions? Your table is ready. It's gotten so bad that Hollywood directors are being asked for their advice, the problem must be epic! (That was probably way over your heads but I got it) Because if we're involving people who specialize in creating imaginary disaster scenarios and the solutions for them then we must be fucked.

Still the oil leaks out at a horrifying rate. I bet if there were profits to be made in fixing the problem there'd be a solution. I bet if Halliburton could make a buck they'd be on this like stank on shit. But that's part of the issue as well because let's face it, the earth is the last thing these corporate muhfukkas care about, as a matter of fact if they could destroy the earth entirely and sell it to us they would...here's the worse part I bet you'd buy it too...it's got extra cheese and 750 horse power!
Okay here comes the conspiracy part that you've gotten accustomed to, the destruction of earth is part of the plan. But that is a totally different piece to write about. But don't say I didn't warn you.
How could something like this happen? Again I go back to that whole preparation idea. How is it allowed to drill so far down with out some contingency plan should a leak occur. Shouldn't someone go to jail behind this major fuck up? I mean isn't that criminal negligence?! I mean I got fired just for talking about a manager who may or may not be a lesbian. This may completely destroy an entire states economy...again.
Another question is who was supposed to be in charge? Yeah, yeah research, besmirch..that's not my thing, which you should know by now if you've read any of these things...I'm the commentary guy...remember? Okay so I do know that the agency in charge was supposed to be M.M.S. who in the past was involved with bribes, sex parties, bribes with sex parties and receiving gifts of sex...so basically sex won over public safety...hmmm go figure. Meanwhile there are still those who say that the company responsible is being treated too harshly by our president because he has made some statements in recent days against the company responsible, only after others have said that he was being too soft on the company responsible...poor guy. He can't get a break in this country. First he's too this, then he's not enough of that, he's too soft, now he's too hard. He apparently can't catch a break but I bet he could if he was the head of an oil company. But alas I digress.

How do I wrap this all up, something really good just came on the telly so I wanna finish this.
Oh I know, I'll leave you with this. We hunted down the evil-doers who attacked us on 9/11 and the facts of that day are still not nearly in the open, the facts of this disaster are in the open...the open water of The Gulf, destroying the livelihoods of several hundred businesses and lives. Destroying an already fragile ecological system quite possibly forever. What are we going to demand be done about this?
Get ready for a new type of Cajun shrimp covered in oil and spices...just slides down easy.
A veritable cornucopia of new dishes will come out of this mess, so perhaps it is a blessing in disguise...disguised in thick black gunk (but don't we fear anything black in this country?)
This is the lifeblood of a pusher feeding our addiction and yet we will keep buying it, knowing it is killing us.
Our future is dependent upon how we react to this and so far the reaction is just feigned anger, just wait until buyer's remorse starts to set in..that's when the real action begins when really, the now is what is important. But I'm probably just talking to dead wildlife. You know what's coming next right...yeah...this is YIh8uuu.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I don't discriminate

I hate to be a sourpuss but as usual I was given a reason to be mad.
Why are there so many oblivious people in the world and how come they always seem to gravitate to me?
I had to venture into Babylon today to get cat food. I thought that if I left early enough I could avoid the daft and mindless droves of people who walk in one direction while looking in another, no such luck as there was the farmers market going on right in the direct path of where I needed to go...yaaaaay! Now at the risk of sounding like a douchey racist scuzzbag I have to say that the majority of these mindless twits are white folks. But I guess that their sense of entitlement won't just disappear, I mean it's existed since...well since forever. Even white folks I'm sure will agree that this sense that everything and everyone has to cow-tow to and move around them is annoying. I've spoken about this before and excuse me for seeming like "angry black man" but gottdammit I am angry!!
I am angry that you still don't seem to get why I am angry. I am angry that many of you, with your tight fitting skinny legged jeans, ironic tee-shirts, fucked up footwear and lack of hygiene think that your existence is more important than mine. That your space is more valuable than mine, that you moved into a neighborhood that is so "scary" yet you walk down the street with your head down and your noise reduction headphones blaring. You don't make eye contact with anyone and at the same time your pushing by me on the L train.
Well my friends the time has come that I must start slapping the stupid out of folks.
No more whistle blowing, no more writing citations and no more sucking it up and counting to ten. Nay. I shall start physically assaulting you. Of course I won't! Because even though I would have every right to, I would be the one going to jail because let's face it...white makes right. Remember a few years ago the white lady who drowned her two sons and said a black man carjacked her.
I wonder how long they looked for that guy or how many brothers ended up locked up because of the virtuous white lady's word?

It's funny how shocked white folks always get when you actually call them out on their rudeness and stupidity, this appalled look they get on their faces as if to say, how dare you correct me on my social ineptitude. Now I realize that this all sounds like I don't like white folks...so not true...ask all of my white friends, ask the white boy who once told me that he was more black than me, ask my white wife from Switzerland or better yet ask all the black women who give us dirty looks when we go out together. Honestly this isn't really a race issue...okay well it sort of is because I believe that in such an economically diverse neighborhood there really ought to be more attempts at togetherness.

But enough about white folks...let's talk about Puerto Ricans because we all will be in about a week and the week leading up to the Puerto Rican day parade, as merengue blaring from souped up chop shop cars goes by at two in the morning making car alarms go off.
As the woman who is too old to be wearing that wears it anyway comes sauntering down the stairs to sit on the stoop and gossip about members of the neighborhood as well as her own friends and family and any woman who walks by...all in a language that we should all learn if we don't know it already. Unfortunately I don't remember nearly as much Spanish as I should but I generally know when I'm being talked about and in this neighborhood they don't even try to mask it.
Yes the P.R. day parade is rapidly approaching and I can't tell you how happy I am to know that I will be out of town. It used to be a source of pride but over the years it has grown into an outrageous display of machismo and misogyny. By the way how many different ways can a flag be turned into a garment to wear...hats, jersey shirts, jersey dresses, shorts, mini-skirts, bandannas, tee-shirts even shoes. Even shirts for the vehicle that is blaring merengue.

So I bet you're waiting for me to talk about black folks right? Well you're in luck.
People can we please stop this incessant need to be cool? Can we get our young men to pull their fucking pants up? Can we get our young women to stop falling for the okey-doke and dropping their pants popping out babies. Can we all stop ending up on Maury fucking Povich? Can we acknowledge that there are other folks around us and that when we are in social settings we should act as if our mothers were with us all the time, act as if we do care how others see us, act as though we were in church, believing in a God that isn't even ours? Can we accept the fact that we can make our lives better if we give a shit about where we live, from the building we occupy to the street we live on. If we care about who our children play with but I bet no one cares, I bet you'd all rather let the daft and oblivious keep getting in your way, I bet you'd rather keep getting exploited and wearing flags as clothes and this is YIh8uuu.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

I can not go all summer without writing another one of these. Its bad enough that I have gone this long. I apologize that I am not as diligent as some others who dedicate a little time everyday to a new addition...and edition...wow, I didn't think I would be using a Bobby Brown reference today but this seems like the perfect opportunity. Nah. If I choose to later it's my prerogative. Baaam that just happened to you.
Okay, okay. On the serious side,what the fudruck is going on? We got a huge undersea oil leak. North Korea is wildin' (pronounced "wilin" the D is silent..kinda like on the Knicks) and people who like to have balls dunked in their mouths (no not homosexuals) are trying to start another civil war here at home. We got Sarah "the moose killin, secret dominatrix, me and Todd's safe word is "wolf" Palin still running around running her mouth about everything that she should S.T.F.U. about already. Hurricane season is about to hit us again and apparently it will be worse than when we got hit by H1N1. That's Swine Flu for those of you keeping track.

All this going on and me and the wife are about to start a family. Are we crazy? Well we're not rich so we must be crazy. I can only imagine how much it costs to raise kids these days. With the cost of living going up, without any increase in wage. I hope this kid is cute so we can start pimpin it quick, like Gary Coleman's parents did him. Better yet the way corporations have pimped this country and the government for so many years that guys from corporations became the government. Isn't it amazing how that happens? Over the years we have seen more ex-government officials go into the private sector as multi-millionaires than ever before and I am disgusted. The people who make this country move, the back bone of the country is under strain because of constant greed and deception and like a cancer it should be removed. So what am I talking about? Revolution. Time to get some of that hard earned money back in your pockets...don't you think?
With all this talk of reform, shouldn't part of that discussion be about how to get more Americans their money back? I mean in the first place why didn't they just cut a check for...I don't know...a hundred grand for all of us. Black folks alone would have gotten us out of that hole with all the spending we would have done. But noooo...the banks got the money...wait, didn't they already have money? They're frucking banks!!! How does a bank go bankrupt in the first place? Fraudulent dealings and mismanagement...wait, that sounds like the M.T.A. but no it's Goldman Sachs, not your usual suspect, right? But perhaps they were and we were lead to believe otherwise. Perhaps while we were keeping our eyes on dead troops coming home for the last eight years or so, Goldman Sachs was steadily feeding itself our money. Gluttony and greed.

Meanwhile how many thousands of gallons of oil continue to leak into our oceans?
A disaster that quite probably could have been avoided, save for the fact that our addiction to oil is worse than any smack, crack or potheads needs could ever be. If the job wasn't rushed then proper safety precautions would have been in place, those men would not have died and we wouldn't be three steps closer to murdering the planet. People ask me why I seem so angry. To which I usually respond by saying "Are you fukn kidding me?!!? Are you not aware of what is going on around you, are you another of the millions of oblivious morons who's numbers seem to grow exponentially. Another of the self loathing who lie to themselves and their children in order to stay stuck in the past. Those people who only want the truth when it's convenient for their situation." Okay so I don't say that exactly but I think I'll start because it is becoming apparent that too many of us are sleeping our way through this existence. Nobody seems outraged over anything anymore, we just seem to take it in stride, like the NYers who keep uttering the phrase;"It's New York, whattaya gonna do?" How about something. Anything to make the situation better. How about fighting injustice? How about something as simple as giving up your seat on the train? sigh I'm starting to ramble. Before I get onto a totally different subject again, I want to just leave you with this thought. I understand that comforts are there for the taking and that is exactly what is happening, your comforts are being taken from you and you sit there like sheeple and accept it, then you get mad at me when I point it out...well guess what, this is YIH8uuu.

keep spreadin that love, eventually it'll take.
EveryMan

Friday, January 15, 2010


In light of the recent tragedy in Haiti I found it really difficult to find reason to h8uuu...but then much like the spout that shoots water so high in the air there uuu were! Old reliable! Yeah. Like the prick on the L train eating sugar wafers over peoples' heads dropping crumbs on them. That ain't even the bad part, this industrial strength douche bag had the audacity to snake a seat out of the situation, when, after what I can only believe to be an eternity for this poor woman, who decides that it would be better to give him the seat than have crumbs all over her clothes due to some assholes ineffectual half hearted attempts to avoid dropping crumbs all over her. It was this moment coupled with hearing Pat Roberts' ignorant, hateful words regarding why there was a natural disaster. He claims that the Haitians made a deal with the Devil. WTF!!??? I told you, we have to just wait til ignorance dies of malnutrition...because obviously we can't go around secretly killing old hateful, racist, ignorant, gonna die anyway old bastards just because they're ruining the world for the rest of us. Can we?


Nah we can't. Even though they did it to us and apparently continue to do so on an even larger scale? Well since you put it that way...shouldn't we protect ourselves. Isn't it fair. I talk about our ignorance and oblivious behavior toward each other all the time and in the midst of the world trying to save a country from falling deeper into despair our behavior still reaches disgusting. And yet I'm not amazed. I'm disgusted but not amazed. Look I know I'm not a shining example of what we are supposed to be as humans, I don't always say and do the right thing...but I tried to change the amount of bad stuff I did and thought. Now the thoughts are still sometimes rancid and disgusting and would probably make some people change their opinion of me but I don't care because they are my thoughts and noone else can hear them...well thats what I tell myself anyway but I do not do harm. I also try to help, I try to impart whatever "knowledge" I may have to others. To see people trying to use this event as a political calculation is not surprising but disgusting...no? Just another reason YIH8uuu.


keep spreadin that love

EveryMan