Friday, December 26, 2008

I never thought...

Okay let me get the pleasantries out of the way,Happy Hanu-Chrisma-Kwanzalhadid! Everybody happy? Good,I wanted to dispense with all the normal stuff that we all have to say even if we don't necessarily feel it completely,most of us,those of us who care about other people's feelings go ahead and put a smile on and try to maintain a semblance of civility and even manufacture joy toward our fellow human beings at this time of year.
So maybe that is why,during my internal year in review it became obvious what I would write about today...okay,that's a little vague.
2008 was definitely a year that made me think; "Wow,I never thought I'd..." fill in the blank.
Well first and foremost on that list would be the biggest story of the last twenty five years, maybe? Barack Obama becomes the first black president that this country has had in its existence. A fact that is incredible on so,so,sooo many levels. I can't begin to list them because I'd have to go into their causes and yadda yadda yadda...I think most of you could come up with a good enough list. There are literally millions of people who not only never thought that they'd see a black president but it was such a fact to them that it wasn't even a conscious was a part of their psyches. So what this presidential election means in its totality is beyond comprehension,at this point,I don't think the effects of this outcome are truly being felt yet...well I guess we're all still holding our collective breath hoping W. doesn't do anything to screw this country up anymore than it is already....maybe he should not do all..literally just kick on the Wii,pop a couple of whatever pills he's on and play golf...please. I mean here I am trying to give Barack what I can only feebly attempt to call props and the more outstanding issue is the state of the country that he inherits.
Which leads to what can only be called number two...the country is broke! Or at least that is what they are telling us and judging by the amount of people losing their homes,money,jobs,insurance,returns on investments and the list goes on and on,I'm inclined to go with that. Whether you want to blame the greed of already rich companies ultimately it was the greed of individuals that spread like a cancer and eventually a few really greedy and corrupted individuals almost brought this country down...almost because it ain't over yet and because it was also being helped out by incompetence. Incompetence is a great accomplice in this whole frrucked up situation,how's that expression go...a fish stinks from the head down...something like that right? Well beating a dead horse is pointless and it won't get you anywhere either but apparently all roads lead to W. Is he a minion of the devil or something?
A LOT of bad schit has happened on his watch...coinky dink? seems that we have dug ourselves a nice Iraqi sandcastle of debt all around the world but mostly to China,well that's the word on the skreeks and if you want to know anything you should know that you get it skrate from the skreeks! Gee,I wonder how we piled up so much debt..hmm? Maybe it was spending almost four billion dollars a month on the war? Naaaaah!
Since I don't want to end up "missing" I'll leave this subject alone...for now..but you guys know that if anything ever happens to me it is not as it appears,right?
Paranoid,table of one?
Yeah you guys think I'm crazy because I think that when the aliens come to get us is the only time we will truly unite but gon' learn...oh you gon' learn.
I never thought I'd write a book but I did it if I can just get it printed and published! I think it's pretty good and you'd all enjoy if I can just get it printed and published!
I never thought I'd see a guy admit to blowing 50 billion dollars! Which made me think something else I never thought I'd think,how can I get in on this Ponzi scheming!
I never thought I'd get tired of seeing women wearing tights as pants but ladies...come on enough is enough,plus you can't get upset if people stare...other than stare I can't do anything about the fact that your lower pucker is blowing kisses at everybody!
This next one,well,you'll's kind of messed up but I never thought I'd feel sorry for O.J. Yes I said it! Even though that dude should have long ago disappeared into the woodwork to never be heard from again...let's look at it shall we...and this is only what I remember but he allegedly burst into a hotel room where some of his sports memorabilia was being illegally sold to another buyer and he went there with a gun to retrieve what he believed to be his property...dude why didn't you just stay on the golf course...I mean I realize you needed to pay what can only be described as the financial justice for a crime that you were acquitted of all those years ago and the book,the interviews all the sitings in front of this club or that club or that beach or this beach was to try and stay relevant in order to make that cheddar...but damn dude...seriously! You should have been gone! People should've been able to say; "Oh,it's been a long time since I heard anything about O.J." to which the other person would've been able to respond by saying; "Well,he was smart and just went away." But noooo! You writing books and schit,doing overtly sensational and provocative interviews with equally incendiary comments being offered.
Now all that being said and I realize it is alot and there is more to throw on that pile but that judge,that jury and that county was never going to let you out of there without seeing the inside their institutional system,I hate to keep making it worse but they probably have your cell mate picked out too...some ex-line backer who you made look silly in a high school football game at homecoming and he's been a career criminal ever since...dude you are royally fuched.
The really screwed up thing here is, wait til I tell you what is next but I never thought I feel sorry for W either...but it almost happened.
I think you know when...yup, when that guy threw both his shoes at him,which apparently is like the worst insult you can give over wouldn't throw your shoe at a dog over there...but this guy threw both his shoes at the prez. When all is said and done and everything about his presidency comes out,I wonder how many indictments are going to come down if at all?
He will be called the worst president ever or at the very least of the modern era,of the last hundred years,since anyone alive can remember. He has quite possibly made irreversible damage to our international reputation,not to mention our economy as if I haven't mentioned it enough already but all these things, none of which work in his favor and I still can feel sympathy for this is this possible? Because I never thought that I would see any humanity in him and though it was fleeting I think I did see some. Something in the shock of what was happening to him that day may have made the human being in him visible beyond the politics and he was scared. It was as if the last eight years were sum mated in that moment,in that moment he got a glimpse into the daily lives that many of us all have riddled with fear,sometimes so bad that we look past each other and push each other to get there first, all because he has made life for us so hard. A direct result of the decisions he has made with no humanity and while there were profits being made by some because of those decisions with no remorse and until it came back to bite you in the ass you cared not and this my friends is yih8uuu.

keep spreadin that love...
eventually it'll take.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


So I been away from you guys for a lil minute...didja miss me? Stop lyin!! You did to miss me. Where else you gonna get this much truth in one sitting,the newspaper?!! Tcha right!
Allow me to take a minute to explain where I have been,would you believe working? Yeah I am as shocked as you,happily surprised but surprised nonetheless...for anyone who has followed my steez (slang for style) for any extended amount of time then you guys already know about the plot to keep me unemployed and broke so I can't realize my dream of being a misanthropic philanthropist,which would enable me to help more people than I can help now...for those of you who don't, you should check me out at voice_ofreason you can see the blog there titled EveryMan's Guide to Avoiding Chalk (An outline).
Now this last gig ended a few weeks ago and now that it is over I can finally tell you about these spoiled,self important,over priviledged,under appreciative bichez and some bastards too.

The gig was for Chanel...ooh lala...a company, who's rep told us on the first day that is trying to change it's image to be more accesible and less intimidating,basically they want to get a face lift because they are old and bitchy. Well they are not doing such a great job. Especially when you consider that the clientele has mostly gotten nothing but older and bitchier,I guess because after years of being able to get away with treating people like dirt it's harder to put on a smile and pretend that you like the "common folk" well that and the fact that the eight facelifts you've had in the last five years makes it impossible to smile without making your eyeballs protrude beyond your nose and the botox injections that you think nobody notices has turned your face into an expressionless manequin head...apologies to manequins everywhere. I mean really,do you think nobody can see those injection points on the lip-lines of your too taut faces?
Ladies,young and old,please stop getting these injections,not only does it not help,I think its turning some of you into zombies...or were you already dead inside?

There were countless examples of money gone wrong during that gig and my tongue is still slightly swollen (try sayin that three times fast) from biting it so many times because apparently being rich does not include common sense or an ability to follow instructions,manners or having to be cordial to those trying to help you. I can't tell you how many times I had to repeat myself because someone decided that they were too good to have to listen to a commoner. The attitude being they are as informed if not more so than I,therefore what could I possible tell them that they don't already know. Like the woman who though that she was going shopping inside the structure for Chanel merchandise...dumb ass! Had you been paying attention with your ears instead of your purse maybe you wouldn't have spent 45 minutes standing around in line annoying anyone within fourty feet of you...beeeee---aaaaaatch!
It was also indeed very frustrating having to listen to these banal conversations based mainly in ignorance. Now don't misunderstand me,I have meaningless converstaion all the time but I am telling you have not heard banal until you've listened to an aging plastic surgery and shopaholic stand in line and speak with a friend on a Blackberry.
At one point during the three weeks of mostly torturous standing around looking pretty,not really doing anything,wishing bad things on some of the captains (all but one actually)I had the distinct pleasure of hearing an overdressed,over priviledged and very overbearing woman say;"I spend thousands of dollars at Chanel so I don't think I should have to wait in line with the general public." I didn't make that up just because it sounds really effed up and goes right along with the,I am not that imaginative,this was actually said and said with verve and sincerity...she would go on to add that she has stopped shopping at places for less and if she couldn't get in before the hundred or so people in front of her she was just going to let her daughter (poor girl) take some photos (with her really expensive camera) and then they were leaving. This is just one example of why I think I am starting to hate rich people...okay...I've always hated rich people...until you work for one you will only envy them for their wealth and hard work...except that most of them (and the difference was pointed out to me by a man who wanted me to know that not ALL rich people are azzholes) never worked for any of that money,they either married into money or was born into money...the latest expression for such being;"you were born on third base and you think you hit a triple?!" This behavior has to be checked before it gets worse and I'm just the guy to check you self important douchez! Oh by the way I have learned that women can be douche bags too..pass it on.

So I have talked about the clientel now let me get up in the ass of the staff and those who hired us.
It has long been my understanding that a captain is supposed to go down with the ship and be an example for his/her crew. That is unless you were a captain on this gig and your name was not Jim (coolest). If you have ever worked with someone who was in all actuality your equal but they thought they were your superior because of a silly little title that they also took advantage of then you must have been working this Chanel gig too...these dude were serious ass don't want that because you're not a child in DUDE BACK UP OFF ME!
It amazes me how some people given a position of power can go mad with that power and abuse it and those that they laud it over. Case in point. On the third Tuesday in November it rained like a sonuvabitch...ALL DAY. Now as a lowly "marshall" I had no choice but to stand in the rain with freezing toes and fingers protected only by the b.s. "parka" (which was actually just a windbreaker...a windbreaker in November!) they gave us as part of the uniform. However one the "captains" spent the better part of the day in the locker room asleep all while we stood in the slop freezing our balls off! I guess you can imagine my disgust.
Then there was the Aryan brotherhood looking jamoke who had nothing better to do but stand over my shoulder watching my every move as if the job I was doing needed his special attention...dude you better hope I never see you in the street. You would think that being on the same team might make these guys treat us with some respect and with a modicum of leniency but alas a dick is a dick is a dick!

So though it has been over for a little while now it is still fresh in my mind how that gig went and even though I made friends there because a majority of the people were really cool peeps...the standout thought is of the bishez and deekheads that I had to deal with for so many hours and the fact that they are still on my mind is YIH8uuu.

Peace keep spreadin that love...eventually it'll take.