Monday, October 11, 2010

closeted genius

Hey, hey, hey! What up fools?! Cut to the chase? Will do.
Today I want to make a confession and I guess in some way a vow. The confession is I have always known that I am great. I have not always however worked hard to prove it as well as I could have.
Call it being intellectually lazy. Call it fear. Call it a cop out if you have to but understand I will find you...I kid, I kid. Dissolve into a scene from junior high.
The time when I could have very easily landed on my foot after jump kicking the bubble in the chain linked fence that surrounded the building. I forget who I was actually going to kick, whoever stood on the other side of that bubble but midway through I either changed my mind in my intent to maim this kid or realized how funny it would be to I fell. Genius! I went for the laugh instead of the violence. Wow. Absolute genius. I was always like that I guess. There was a time when, as a kid I would dance out a skit of the song "Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen (I think, I told you I'm not good with that stuff). I had a spin move at the end of which I would jump into the air and land on my poor knees! Brilliant!
When I was a baby I came in second in a beauty a girl! Gorgeous! So it stands to reason that my soon to be born son will have many of these genius and star quality attributes.
And my vow is to make sure he does not take it for granted like I have and yes...still do sometime.
How do I keep my kid from becoming like the rest of these other little future Cee students. Besides the fact that he's already S.A.B. Gee. Which I'm guessing you're trying to figure means what exactly. Well let me tell you, it stands for Super Advanced Baby Genius. Yeah that's right.
Now getting back on track. How do I keep my kid from being like...well, me.
As brilliant and genius as I actually am I have not quite yet reached my potential...quite? Who am I kidding? I'm not even close.
But my son has a chance to reach his full potential. Starting with a brand new clean slate. He has no experience besides swimming and eating...and he ain't really eating on his own power and swimming? He's more floating than backstroking...
so nada.
He can still indeed become the super advanced genius that I know he is.
My time is all but over. Whatever talent I may have had has probably long since faded, withered and blown out the closing window of opportunity.
What can I show him about life that will be the key to making his destiny a reality? What lessons have I learned, that I can relay to him that will be the difference? Will he love me as much as I love him?
My son. Those words mean more to me than any two words have ever meant to anyone anywhere at any time? My son. I vow to protect him with all my power and to shield him from ignorance. I will alert him of it's existence but definitely steer him in the other direction. And I confess my fear that my past transgressions will be revisited by him in his age of discovery.
Many mistakes were made in the making of this man and yes I do indeed have some regrets. I just hope that he can be respected and that he most importantly respects himself, that he is fearless and never believes that he can't. Because he can.
I vow to be there for him when he needs me and when he doesn't I'll just hang out on the sidelines just in case. There are so many things I want to say to him to let him know about the world. So for the rest of our lives I will.
He will let his genius manifest itself and I will help him cultivate and refine that genius. Father and son exposing genius to the world. No longer closeted and never was.

No comments: